Leaving Limbo

In the last 5 days I have finally moved on to "real life". I don't say that because I think real life doesn't start until you become a mother, but because this is truly the first time since high school (almost 4 years ago) that I understand my role and what I want to do with it. I have been living in limbo for the past few years, and now things just make more sense.

Erik and I were recently talking about how living life without concrete goals can lead to depression. I know this has to do with the uneasy and unhappy feelings I have had over the years, but now so many things have been put neatly into perspective for me.

I now have concrete goals concerning my health, my career, and my family. All things I have never had. I have an ideal weight and a plan to get there. I have an intense need to graduate and actually start working in a career position as opposed to just a job. I have the most beautiful person in the world lying in my lap right now, and the perfect match for me to help me keep her safe. I think this little girl has something (and by something I mean everything) to do with my newfound determination to succeed.

Quick Previous Post Amendment

I wanted to but forgot to add to that last post that Ingrid was born on Elvis, David Bowie and Stephen Hawking's birthday! And she missed Nixon's birthday by 10 minutes (sigh of relief?)

Also, today is Erik and my six month anniversary. It seems like it has been so much longer than that! He really is the love of my life.

Day 1

Pregnant for 9 months, check. 33 hour labor, check. 2 1/2 hours of pushing, check. Apparently that is the recipe for one perfect 8 lbs 10 oz baby. We had her at 11:50 PM last night. I can't believe how good I feel right now considering how much pain I was in 24 hours ago.

But seriously, it all was worth it. I've only had this baby for a day, and I can't imagine life without her. She is so beautiful, with her chubby cheeks, her scent, and her jet black hair. She's so amazing.

We've had tons of visitors today, and I'm really tired, so I'll keep this a short one. I want to thank my amazing family for their support, my amazing friends for their love, and my amazing husband for everything he does. I couldn't have gotten to this day without all of you, which means I couldn't have gotten to the first day of this beautiful baby girl without all of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Now come visit me :)

Here Goes

I've always wanted to do a blog, but I never have. I also only make one New Years resolution every year, and this is not it. I might keep this up, I might not. I feel that since I live so far away from my friends of so many years and my family, I should start something like this so people who would like to know what is going on in my life are able to. Sooooo.... Here goes.

2012 was pretty crazy. And by crazy, I mean my life completely changed for the better. I met the love of my life, was cast in a dream role of mine, discovered I was pregnant, was unable to do the show, married my best friend, moved from my home city of three years, transferred schools, switched majors, lost four people who were very important to me to cancer, old age, and life decisions when I had never dealt with death before, and I actually accomplished my New Year's resolution. Yeah. Pretty crazy.

But even though 2012 was the most stressful year I've ever had, I think this year was the best.

Erik. Is. Amazing. He is the second best thing that has ever happened to me (the first being Ingrid). I'll talk about how we met in a later post, but we both agree it was love at first sight. His presence in my life has changed me from the self-destructive, selfish, and unhealthy person I was to a person who is assertive in making their life better.

Us being fish on our honeymoon

He took me to the color festival for my first time. So much fun!!

We got married on July 9th. Even though it didn't work out exactly how we planned it, we are so incredibly happy.

In May, I found out I was pregnant, and my life completely changed. Erik and I had already talked about getting married (yeah, we move fast. Back off), and so deciding to get married this summer wasn't a hard decision to make at all. Getting from point A to point B was the hard part. Thankfully, we had so much amazing support from family and friends. And despite the animosity from some because of our situation, we have had a wonderful start on our life together.  

Ingrid at 20 weeks

I had lived in Ogden and attended Weber State University for three years. I met some amazing people, found out some interesting things about myself, and picked up some pretty bad habits. Most of the negative stuff has gone away by now, and I'm glad I have been able to stay in touch with at least some of my very good friends. It's hard to stay close friends with people who live so far away, and this blog me attempting to make it not be so hard. 

My Allsaburry. She has been one of the best friends I have ever had. This picture is from us freshman year. I think this was the first time we actually hung out together.

These chicks be cray cray. I miss them so much!! And I miss my blonde streak...

I only make one resolution a year.  Last year, my resolution was to get rid of a habit I had accumulated in 2011, and for the second year in a row I actually accomplished it! This year's has to do with all the weight I've gained being pregnant. I want to lose every single pound I have gained (which is a lot, if you haven't seen me lately). I'm trying to stick to the 9 months on, 9 months off thing. My goal is to run a 10K in August to kind of commemorate my achievement. Feel free to cheer me on. I'm going to need all the help I can get!

This past year had it's challenges, stress, panic attacks, and tears just like every other year. I also found the love of my life and will soon meet the person who changed the game entirely. In the end, it was the best year of my life (so far).