How are you?

How happy are you? I mean, really? When someone says "how are you?" are you lying when you say, "good"? I once had a wonderful woman, Jenny Kokai, ask me if I really was okay as she was first encountering the Utah-happy-mask. She didn't believe me because I wasn't. How many times do we pretend we are happy when our acquaintances, friends, even close family ask us how we are? 

I'll tell you what, I have been the most unhappy I have ever been as of late. I've been trying to answer the "how are you" question truthfully, but it usually comes out a lie. I don't know where this incessant need to appear cheerful, put together and perfect all the time comes from, but I think it needs to stop. When we ignore the question and reply with a lie, we are not allowing that person to help us. We fall further into loneliness (let's face it, that's what it ends up being) because we aren't willing to open up. We need to let people in, reach out when we need help, and let the love shine in. 

It may seem like I am expecting others to fix my sadness when I say that, but that's not the point. Maybe that's why people do it. They feel like they are burdening others with their problems. Some may feel that way, but I don't. I love when people share their sorrows with me. It makes me feel useful as a friend. I don't usually give great advice or try to fix it, but I love to be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. 

In my attempts to be happier, I have started #100happydays. For those who don't know, you post a picture on social media every day for 100 days that depicts something that made you happy that day. This was Day One:

Erik likes to say that you must recognize that something is wrong before you can fix it. I think confessing that you aren't okay instead of lying is a step in the direction of happiness. 

Feel free to join! 

Birthdays and stuff.

I haven't blogged in a while, so I just wanted to write a quick update. 

Ingrid is one! Her birthday was way fun, even though I totally failed at the "perfect party" thing. My sister, Melinda, told me I'll learn what things I can do the day before and what I can leave until that day. Hopefully.

The theme was "You are my sunshine," so naturally, everything was yellow (except for the rainbow fruit kabobs). 
 

 

I think my favorite thing was the sign I made and the cake/cupcakes 

 

Ingrid was getting sleepy during the party, seeing as her bed time was about 7:30-8 then and she didn't take a good nap. But she LOVED her cake. She started out eating it so proper, then she just held onto it with one hand to make sure she could eat it. She's so silly. 

She's just so cute. 

I've been going to school this semester, and I totally took too many credit hours. It has been super stressful, but we'll figure it out. 

Anyway, there's a short update of what we've been up to. 

Oh so nervous.

In the last few days, it's really hit me that I'll have another baby to take care of in about a month. And people, I am getting nervous!! After looking at pictures of Ingrid when she was first born, I realized that I forgot how little she was! I'm nervous that it won't all come back to me, and I'll be super awkward and un-mommy like. 

But then again, I remember when I had Ingrid, it just made sense. I knew how to hold her, (for the most part) how to feed her, how to change her diaper, how to clean out her nose. It just kind of came to me. I'm not saying I was amazing at first (cause I'm obviously amazing now), but I didn't feel awkward with my new little bubbycakes. She knew me, I knew her, and we figured it out. Well, I figured it out. She wasn't much help. 

These are the things I tell myself when I look at my pregnancy apps, do my kick counts, and see her little bum poke out just left of my belly button (her favorite spot). Even though I have two babies now, not just one. Even though I'm stressed to the max always as of late. Even though I'm super nervous, I feel like things will be fine and we'll just figure it out.... Well, I'll figure it out. They won't be much help.