So, I apologize for how long this post is, but I have something I need to get off my chest. It probably won't be liked by a few people. I've always been passive agressive, and it only makes me upset. So I'm gonna say this cause I can. Please keep reading even if you don't like me half way through. Something cute is at the end :D
I am LDS. I stopped going to church shortly after I moved away to college, and three years later decided to go back. I've done the growing up in the church thing, the leaving the church thing, and the coming back thing. So, I feel like I have a good sense of how my life has been during each of these three stages.
Now, I have a few items of business to discuss:
1) Never did I once during the three years that I didn't go to church feel like my family didn't want to include me in their lives. I was constantly reassured that my decisions did not change the way every single one of them (and my family is ha-uge) felt about me. I never once felt like my siblings were using me as an example of how NOT to behave to their children. I was always loved, and always felt that love.
2) I have never felt like I was discriminated against in the church because I am a woman. To tell you the truth, I don't want the priesthood! And I believe anyone who has had to carry a watermelon strapped to the front of them around for 9 months, THEN had to push that watermelon out of a teeny tiny hole will back me up on this. I know that I have different responsibilities than my husband. Those responsibilities don't necessarily mandate me to be a stay at home mom. I plan on having a career outside of my home, and I know that's okay. To be honest, I know just as many woman in the church who have been looked down upon (BY OTHER WOMEN) because they are a stay at home mom as those that choose to not be. But I also know that my daughter is the most important responsibility in my life. She is also my husband's most important responsibility. And if she requires something, I will give it to her. Because that's what a mom does. A mom is there for her kids, and a mother's responsibility is to do whatever is best for her children. (my mom is freaking awesome, P.S.)
3) If someone decides to tell me they don't think I am good enough, doing the right thing, or not a good Mormon, I will tell them to back up off my business. Because it isn't their place to decide that. It isn't their place to tell me that I am not doing the right thing, because how the hell could they even know that? There is a big misconception about the church that has always bothered me. People who say they have left the church because of members don't understand that those members are in the wrong, not the Church itself. The people who take it upon themselves to judge you don't understand that it is not their responsibility. It is God's. And God is awesome.
4) I believe firmly that we all have a thing called free agency, the ability to make our own choices. I know that if someone decides to do something, it's because they decided to do it. AND THAT'S OKAY! It is not some random member's place to tell me I am wrong for supporting any cause I choose to support. I am not going to let my personal beliefs impede someone else's personal beliefs. How loving and understanding would that be?
I 100% believe that I understand all of these concepts because my parents taught me about the gospel itself, not their opinion of it. They taught me how to love. Whenever I didn't include someone in anything for any reason, they would quickly tell me that I was in the wrong. I was taught that everyone has free agency, and they can decide for themselves what they do. My mom worked every day of my life. She always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but our situation did not allow her to. Did I miss out on some of the wonderful things children with stay at home mom's get? Yes. Would I prefer to go back and change the way I grew up, the relationship I have with my mother, and the experiences I have had? No.
I belong to a church that is based on love. On acceptance. On trying to be like Jesus. He turned the other cheek, didn't judge those tainted with sin, and He died so I can become like Him.
Now, back on the opinions thing. People who choose to uphold their opinions by voting for certain things have the right to do so. And a church who believes certain things has the right to say certain things in support of their beliefs. Negativity is not of God. Hate is not of God. If you haven't actually read what the church itself says about certain topics, GO READ THEM instead of relying on the information written by some douche canoe who knows nothing about it in the Salt Lake Tribune. You read that right, I called that guy a douche canoe. As a member of the LDS Church, I know that what that man was saying was not correct. I know that his negativity, and anyone who uses negativity to promote their beliefs, is wrong.
I love all of my friends and family. I love them if they go to church, don't go to church, drink, smoke, are gay, are straight, are hard to work with, are easy to work with, are married, are single, have kids, don't have kids, know who Captain Mal is, have bad taste in literature, like cars, watch too much TV, play video games, have a college degree, are a stay at home mom, aren't a stay at home mom. I respect your ability to make your own decisions. I don't want to make them for you. I have my own life to deal with.
Now, this post was really long, and I really hope everyone who began reading it got to the end. My intention was not to offend anyone. I just know that I spent three years of my life miserable, and a lot of things stopped being so hard when I went back to church. That was my decision, and that doesn't have to be yours. Just please, I beg you, please respect my decision as much as I respect yours. Please, don't say negative things about my church, because you really are saying them about me.
Now, here's a super cute video of my adorable baby to make you love me again! She's 11 weeks old now, and I'm obsessed.
